Algebra

 

I still haven’t used that algebra equation

I learned in 9th grade in my moment of frustration

the math that my teachers always said that I’d need

I’ve used about as much as a bag of chicken feed

 

Do you rememember what they said? “It’s foundational my son!”

I think their only point was to ruin all our fun

in the middle of a day of learning exciting things about life

they plopped down an 4 pound book and then began our strife

 

Ages ago somewhere an old professor hated kids with a passion

so he set out to torture them in quadratic and linear fashion

since then I’ve been waiting to use it some place

but all I’m getting are flashbacks of my teacher’s chubby face

 

not at a restaurant, or beach, or supermarket does it come in handy

even when I’m buying apples or lemons or grapefruit or candy

when Congress was asked for cash so the economy wouldn’t freeze 

the Treasury never called me up for my mathematical expertise

 

but I think there must be some reason they were so intent to train

something lurking ahead that will require that part of my brain

 

Now here comes a question that fills me with fright:

will I somehow need algebra on my wedding honeymoon night?

(Oh please, married friends! Please tell me that’s not right!)

 

Because I’m forgetting what I learned, the numbers are getting faint

I think I retained more at five after the lesson of finger-paint

 I will not talk

I will not talk

I will not talk in class

those lines are more familiar than any math test I passed

 

wait!

I can finally see a scenario where algebra skills will be needed

after the hands of time have spun, and the future has been seeded

when I’m a dad, and need to give math help to my daughter and her brother

I’ll hold them close, and whisper in each ear: “Kids, go ask your mother”

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