I’m here in Starbucks (my routine) and I’m sitting one table over from alot of girls.
They’re not quite girls anymore, more like young women – all middle eastern descent. I think they are actually from the Middle East, thier manner of behaving. They’re sitting around a table, all five of them, and leaning in to talk. They don’t just lean in, they speak quietly but excitedly. They are animated and giddy, but at the same time subdued. Like a cat moving rapidly in a box, or a church kid playing happily under a pew, but trying to keep quiet enough not to alert his mom, who would spank the tar out of him for being disrespectful in the house of God.
I guess this curious behavior on the part of these women comes from their living atmosphere. A domineering husband or strict father probably quiets their mouth in the house, a typical ingredient of many Middle Eastern homes, a cultural norm it seems. Day and night in their homes they are made to be docile, unopinionated, and subservant. But out here, out of the house, they have crowded tightly together and let thier tounges speak free, if still rather quiet. Not longer under the restraint of the male control, their movements are still small but excited, and they make happy quick gestures.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I lived completely free of concern for what others think of me. As a whole, I generally don’t care what they think, and I don’t make big life decisions with that in mind. But in the day-to-day, I know there is a self-conciousness guiding me away from doing what might make me look strange. I think it’s like the domineering males in these women’s lives, this concern that works to silence the spirit a bit.
I’ve found myself at times not closing my eyes to pray for food as I wanted to avoid a strange appearance. Or maybe other times I’d stopped myself from starting conversation with a perfect stranger for fear of rejection – people normally just don’t start up a coversation, and I don’t want to look wierd.
What would life be like with never a selfish, constricting thought of what people would think? Who knows how much more we could do if we just didn’t care about the petty opinions of people that we’ve never met or probably never will.
Would our personalities begin to get excited being free of this shallow concern? Would we begin to move more freely and just live more freely, more happily? What would open up? What would change?
Just a thought.
Hey, you have a blog!!! That’s so cool.
I like this post. It felt almost like a story in a book; I wanted to keep reading.